When seeking information about the emotional toll of a divorce, you will easily find articles and books about the grief process. Knowledge of this topic is important, but it mostly deals with the end of the relationship.
You should remember that divorce can be a long process. Depending on your situation, it can take months or even years. You will naturally confront many feelings during this process, even before the relationship is officially over.
Angry
The stress and uncertainty that come with a divorce can create anger in anyone. It's important to understand that it's okay to feel angry, but you must also find healthy ways to cope with those emotions.
Tips for Managing Anger During a Divorce
- Acknowledge your feelings. Recognize and accept your anger as a natural part of the grieving process.
- Find an outlet. Exercise, journaling, talking with a trusted friend, or attending therapy can help release pent-up emotions.
- Practice self-care. Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally can help reduce stress and promote healing.
- Focus on what you can control. Use your mental energy on figuring out how to move forward in a positive direction.
Frustrated
Experiencing frustration during a divorce is completely understandable, as it's a stressful and difficult time for everyone involved. There are many pragmatic concerns to juggle, and it can be hard to accept certain outcomes.
Tips for Managing Frustration During a Divorce
- Stay organized. Keep track of important documents and deadlines to avoid additional frustrations.
- Communicate effectively. Keep conversations with your spouse calm and respectful. Focus on finding solutions rather than placing blame.
Guilty
Feeling guilty during a divorce is a common emotional response, especially if you feel responsible for the breakdown of your marriage. Perhaps you even feel good about getting the divorce, but that only leads to feeling shame about that positive reaction.
Tips for Managing Guilt During a Divorce
- Forgive yourself. It's important to take responsibility for your actions, but you should also accept the past. All you can do now is move forward and learn from your mistakes.
- Seek forgiveness from others if necessary. If you feel that you have wronged your ex-spouse or children, apologize and seek their forgiveness. Remember, this should not be an attempt to mend the marriage. It should be a sincere apology just because they deserve it. Also, be prepared for the possibility that they won’t forgive you, but take solace in the fact that you tried.
Self-Deceiving
Many will experience denial during a divorce, especially if the divorce was unexpected or unwanted. It’s important to accept reality. Even if the marriage can be saved, at this point, it’s probably best to just let it go.
Tips for Managing Denial During a Divorce
- Practice mindfulness. Focus on being in the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
- Educate yourself. Learn about the divorce process so you know what to expect and can make informed decisions. This can help keep your mental focus on the reality of the situation and distract you from slipping into fantasies.
Relieved
Your divorce will likely bring about a spectrum of emotions, both good and bad. You can have a positive response, especially if the marriage was difficult or unhappy.
Give yourself permission to feel relieved. It's okay to feel relieved that the marriage is over, even if it's not what you expected.
Now is your opportunity to focus on the future. You can let go of the past and take steps toward achieving your goals.
Remember to set boundaries. You should protect yourself emotionally, preserving and nurturing your positive emotions. If your spouse is bringing you down, it’s perfectly fine to limit communication, refuse to meet with them, and so on.
There Are No Correct or Incorrect Emotions
Remember that everyone copes with divorce differently, and there is no right or wrong way to feel. By acknowledging your feelings and finding healthy ways to manage them, you can work through them and begin the healing process.
Regardless of the feelings that emerge, seek professional help if needed. A therapist or counselor can provide support and guidance during this difficult time.
The Law Office of David A. Martin & Associates is here to help you manage the legal side of a divorce, which can ease your emotional burden. If you need assistance in any family law matter, call us today at (916) 299-3936 or contact us online.
